Courtney Kissinger

Flirting 101: The Do’s and Don’ts for Girls

So you've met a guy. What do you do next? Act interested? But you don't want to come on too strong. Ignore him? But then he won't know you're alive. Knock him to the ground? No, that only works in first grade. Though I've landed quite a catch now (shout out to my wonderful husband, Brian!), I remember it all too well . . . trying to get the attention of a guy you're interested in without making a fool of yourself.

I'm so thankful I didn't have to deal with facebooking, snap-chatting, instagramming, and tweeting when I was in high school. Nowadays girls spend so much time updating their status, checking to see who liked a comment or picture, and thinking they're getting to know the perfect guy, who happens to look like Ryan Gosling. (It's always such a letdown to learn that the Internet's prince charming actually looks more like that boy from Diary of a Wimpy Kid.) Flirting doesn't have to be painful, it can actually be fun! I'm not talking about playing games with guys … trying to make every guy you meet think that you like them; that's rude.

So what's a girl supposed to do when she meets a guy she's interested in? Here are a few things I've learned . . .

  1. Don't try too hard. Just be yourself. If the guy doesn't seem interested in what you have to say, it's his loss.
  2. Don't wait around for (or stalk) the guy you'd like to spend time with. Keep busy with the things and people that bring you happiness. God wants us to be happy. Seek out the people, conversations, and activities that bring you joy.
  3. Don't be afraid to move on. There are plenty of people out there to get to know, and more than enough time to find the interesting ones to spend time with.
  4. Don't open up too fast. Luckily The Bachelorette is not your guide for how quickly you have to share your life story before the next contestant enters the room. You're a treasure to be sought after, so let the guy do the work in getting to know you.
  5. Do dress in a way that flatters your body. That doesn't mean reveal your whole body. If the lack of your clothing is what attracts a guy, don't be surprised when he doesn't seem interested in the real you. Being stared at all day by every guy that walks by is not what is going to make you happy. Summertime is a great time to wear bright, fun colors that catch a guy's eye. Not to run around in public wearing shorts that look like underwear.
  6. Do Smile. Be the happy version of yourself. You don't need to act like you've just won a million dollars if you're having the worst day of your life, but you also don't need to act like you're sharing your deepest thoughts with your therapist.
  7. Do make eye contact. Let a guy know you're interested and really listen to him. And not just the stories he's telling, listen to the words he's using to communicate. Does he need to use bad language to sound cool or get a laugh? Does he need to talk negatively about others to make himself feel better? Don't waste your time on a guy who isn't going to add something positive to your life.
  8. Do relax. Remember God has a plan for your life, a plan to bring you great joy and happiness (Jeremiah 29:11-15). Don't stress thinking you're going to mess up God's plan if you say the wrong words, get caught on a day you haven't done your hair, or laugh at all the wrong times. God wants your happiness even more than you do; you can trust that He'll provide for everything you need.

Categories: DatingFlirtingMy Relationships

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Courtney Kissinger

About the Author

I graduated from law school and then decided to become an elementary school teacher. I’m married to an arguably attractive youth minister, Brian, and we have the cutest daughter. I hate cheese. That includes cheese on pizza, Nacho Cheese Doritos, cottage cheese, and cream cheese. I will eat cheesecake if it’s covered with chocolate.