Rachel Allen

Don’t Waste Your First Kiss

Have you had your first kiss yet? I kind of hope you haven’t — not because I’m anti-kissing (in fact, I’m a huge fan of it), but because I’ve heard a lot of stories about first kisses being incredibly awkward. Maybe not as awkward as what happened to my friend Pete…

It was the summer between 7th and 8th grade, and Pete was hanging out with his buddies at the pool (because everyone who was anyone from his middle school spent their entire summer at the neighborhood pool). The whole class was there, but split up, naturally — the boys on one side and the girls on the other. All the boys were gathered around Pete and all the girls were gathered around Katie.

Katie was easily the most beautiful girl in the class — so, of course, all of the guys were way too afraid to ask her out… all the guys except Pete. He figured that since no one else would do it, why not? It wasn’t like she had said yes to anyone else before. And since no one else had asked her out before, when Pete came over and asked her if she wanted to go out, she said, “Sure, why not?”

The fact that Katie and Pete were dating didn’t change much. The boys still hung out on one side of the pool, and the girls on the other. But now, all the boys gathered around Pete, “The Guy Who Katie Said Yes To,” to talk about how awesome it was that Katie was going out with him.

And all they really wanted to know was whether or not Katie was a good kisser.

When they asked him about it, Pete kind of laughed. “I… I, uh, I don’t actually know.”

The guys couldn’t believe it. “What? You haven’t kissed her yet?!” “Dude! You’ve got to kiss her!” “I can’t believe you haven’t kissed her yet!” “Yeah, man, go kiss her!”

So, Pete, high on confidence from the fact that he was “The Guy Who Katie Said Yes To,” walked boldly over to the girls’ side of the pool and asked Katie if she would walk with him over to the tennis courts so that they could talk. All the girls giggled, and Katie said, “Sure, why not?”

They walked off, not talking, as the boys watched from one side of the pool and the girls watched from the other. Pete laid out his towel and they sat down together.

“So, the guys have been asking me if we’ve kissed yet.”

“Yeah? The girls have been asking me, too.”

“Yeah? Well… I guess we should kiss, then.”

“Sure, why not?”

And then, in Pete’s own words: “So we drooled on each others’ chins for about five seconds and it was over. I went back to the boys, and she went back to the girls, and when school started again, we broke up.”

Romantic, right? …Sure, why not?

SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT

I didn’t date anyone in middle school (their choice, not mine). But during my sophomore year of high school, this really great guy who had been one of my best friends for about a year asked me out. I said yes, of course, and we dated for about a month before he kissed me for the first time.

It was a Friday night — it was Good Friday, actually (so my friends and I started calling it “Gooooooood Friday”). We had been to the services at our church, went back to my house, and watched a little TV with my family, and when I walked him to the door at the end of the night, we stopped on my front porch and he kissed me goodnight.

It was so perfect — soft, sweet, not too short or too long. And there weren’t any spectators or drool anywhere in sight.

In some places, the pressure to date is ridiculous. Boys and girls used to be total opposites, gross even, and now they suddenly look a little more interesting… And when they start to pair off, I know that it can be tough to be left behind on that.

It would be totally awesome if someone that you liked also thought that you were cute, funny, smart, and interesting — but let me ask you a question: Would you rather have the tennis courts or the front porch? Please, don’t waste your first kiss.

If you’ve already had it, I hope it wasn’t wasted. I hope it was with someone that you really liked and were actually interested in having a relationship with. But I’m smart enough to know that isn’t usually the case. The tennis court scene seems pretty standard.

So if that’s how things went for you in the past, I hope you don’t waste your second kiss. Or your third. Or any other kisses you have over the course of your life.

I write this mostly to my friends who are transitioning from middle school into high school, but I think it applies to a lot of us. There’s no rush to start dating, and no need to constantly be in a relationship. You don’t need a boyfriend or a girlfriend to complete you. You’ve got a lot going, all on your own, and high school is a lot easier to navigate without having someone else’s heart in your hands.

Don’t get me wrong, I wanted the tennis court scene, too (although at my school, it would have been at the end-of-the-year carnival). But I didn’t get it in middle school, and what I did get, near the end of my sophomore year of high school, was so much better. And even though I had to wait 16 years to get it, I’m so glad I did.

I try not to waste any kisses… and I hope you won’t, either.

For more advice on surviving high school, check out The Next Step on the Life Teen Store.

Rachel Allen

About the Author

I work for a retreat ministry called the REAP Team, where it's my full-time job to talk about sex, love, dating, and chastity (which can sometimes lead to some awesomely awkward moments). I love being Catholic, watching movies, and browsing antique malls. The only thing I have against winter is the fact that there's no baseball. Feel free to email me at [email protected] or follow me on Twitter @rachel_m_allen