Countless times over the years, I’ve thought to myself, “If only I could go back and do things differently.” And that’s why nearly two decades later, I’m writing this letter to my twenty-something self: not because I can undo past mistakes, but because right now there is a young twenty-something man facing his own unplanned pregnancy (or could in the near future) longing for someone to give him solid, strong, Godly advice. If that’s you, it’s my hope that this letter will help you.
I’m not one who likes to admit to having feelings, but when I arrived at their house and met Jimmy and Sarah’s son, I couldn’t stop crying. This little guy had been through so much and was so very wanted. He was wanted by his birth mother, whose love for him gave her the courage to choose life for her son. He was wanted by his birth father, who loved his son and supported his girlfriend through her pregnancy. Together they picked out Jimmy and Sarah to be their son’s forever family.
However, the truth is this: the most commonly used birth control pill is nothing more than a mask.
Just like make up only covers up a pimple, the birth control pill only covers up the symptoms of a woman's menstrual issue. Sure the pill might make a woman's cycle seem regular, but in reality, it is only fooling her body and her mind.
I want a love that's strong enough to wait for marriage and commitment. Someone who wants what's best for me and my body. I'm not looking for someone who's okay with me chemically altering my body for the sake of pleasure without consequences.
I want the consequences – but I want them in marriage where they're supposed to be. I want to feel bonded to another person, body and soul (Genesis 2:24). I want to be faithful to one person and give myself fully, freely, and allow that to bear the fruit of children.
Women, you deserve so much better. You deserve to be honored and treasured as living, breathing miracles that reveal God to the world in a way that men never could. Scripture says that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and your bodies reflect God's glory and his life-giving power in such an amazing way (1 Corinthians 6:19).
The day I saw those two lines indicating a positive result, my whole world completely turned upside down. I was living every young girl's worst nightmare. I was pregnant. At the time I found out I was pregnant, I was single, alone, and afraid. I literally felt I had no one to turn to. The weight of my own embarrassment, shame, self-hatred, and loss of self-worth was too much to bear and I never told a single soul I was pregnant and scheduled an abortion even though I knew to my very core it was wrong.
It's common knowledge that hormonal contraception is detrimental to a woman's physical health, but there's little discussion regarding how the same drugs affect the health of her romantic relationships. Hormonal contraception changes a woman's romantic chemistry. How?
Sitting in the college dorm my sophomore year, I heard the words I never thought I would hear: 'I'm Pregnant.' Tears started falling down Jessica's cheeks as she told me the news.
I was off the pill for about three months when my cycles went crazy again (because the pill doesn't cure anything, just masks it), and this time the pain was unbearable. I went racing back to my miracle pill for the next few years.
In our junior year of college, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. I of course said yes! I had only been waiting three and a half years! We set the date for two weeks after graduation – a year-and-a-half engagement (a.k.a. forever).
Near the end of eternity we went to our pre-cana (pre-marriage) class. When the subject of birth control came up, I clammed up. I didn't want to hear what they had to say. I had medical reasons for being on the pill. I wasn't hurting anyone by being on the pill, and we were so not ready for kids.
Recently, you might have been feeling lucky to be alive upon waking up on December 22nd … the day after the supposed Mayan Apocalypse of December 21st, 2012.
I'll never forget what happened at about 2:05pm on April 14. In front of my family, friends, and God, I swore in church. And then the girl standing next to me swore. It wasn't inappropriate. It wasn't bad; it was actually a good thing.
We swore that we would love each other faithfully for the rest of our lives and we begged God to seal and strengthen our commitment. We were so excited to get married, but we knew that the sacrament wasn't just about us.