…for years I’d given away kisses with very little meaning. Kissing was just the next step when things were going well with a guy. In a way I felt like I had to kiss the guys I really liked because they had earned it and it would prove our relationship was worth something. I realized what I thought was my desire to kiss Brian, was actually a desire to feel close and connected to him.
Q: I was wondering if you have any advice for guys trying to remain pure. I know a lot of my friends and I have struggled in relationships because we found it so hard to remain pure with all of the pressure around us.
A: Thanks for the email, and I want to affirm you for pursuing purity. Here are a few tips that come to mind:
In this new Life Teen video, Jackie Francois addresses the question of whether or not it’s okay to wear a bikini this summer. And it’s not just a yes or no answer… it’s all about how you, as a woman, want other people to view you and your worth as a whole person… not just attractive body parts.
I don’t know if it was my conscience, the Holy Spirit, or a combination of the two, but in that moment I was reminded of this one issue in my life. I had struggled with pornography for the past year or two. I knew that it was sinful, and several times I had promised myself that I wouldn’t go back to it, but I couldn’t quit.
Of course, you should continue to pray at all times, but especially before you go on a date or spend time with your boyfriend. Pray that you will make good decisions. Ask for the wisdom, courage, and prudence to avoid temptation and the situations where it lingers. Whether that means you’ll leave the place you find yourself in, surround yourself by others, or end the date early.
Countless times over the years, I’ve thought to myself, “If only I could go back and do things differently.” And that’s why nearly two decades later, I’m writing this letter to my twenty-something self: not because I can undo past mistakes, but because right now there is a young twenty-something man facing his own unplanned pregnancy (or could in the near future) longing for someone to give him solid, strong, Godly advice. If that’s you, it’s my hope that this letter will help you.
I’m not one who likes to admit to having feelings, but when I arrived at their house and met Jimmy and Sarah’s son, I couldn’t stop crying. This little guy had been through so much and was so very wanted. He was wanted by his birth mother, whose love for him gave her the courage to choose life for her son. He was wanted by his birth father, who loved his son and supported his girlfriend through her pregnancy. Together they picked out Jimmy and Sarah to be their son’s forever family.
Q: How do I know if the person I’m dating is “the one”? What if I miss out on my soulmate? A: I have to admit that Courtney (my wife) was not the first “one” I had ever dated. I dated other girls before her, and there was even one or two that I thought […]
Music can have a very powerful effect in people's lives, and the words of a song really matter. Music is a universal language that cuts to the heart in a way that nothing else can. Macklemore makes some bold claims in “Same Love.” And because it fits snugly within the pop culture views currently trending (making the Catholic Church look outdated and hateful while those that support gay marriage are more loving and accepting) and is very catchy and well done, it has struck a chord with millions of people. However, just because something is emotionally stirring that doesn't mean that it’s truthful. The song is built on a foundation of emotion instead of the rock of truth.
This was a talk given at the Life Teen Leadership Conference for Catholic teens to help them understand the depth and the beauty of the Catholic Church’s teaching on homosexuality.
Words and definitions are important. We can't really describe and understand the reality that surrounds us without them. So what happens when a higher power- say, the United States judicial system – tries to redefine words? Can that change our reality?
The Church is clear on her definition of marriage: it's a lifelong, exclusive union between one man and one woman that must be open to the creation of new life. That's not the same definition our culture is embracing, although that's nothing new. It's not even a definition that all American Catholics embrace . . . although that's nothing new, either.
And, as of June 26th, it's not a definition supported by the Supreme Court of the United States.
One day, a handsome, mysterious stranger walked into the shop where I work and I gave him a job. I had no idea where he had come from or how he found me, but we needed the help and he was willing to work. Over time, despite many obstacles, we fell in love…
But the battle isn't over.
I have to recognize my humanness and be vigilant. There's a spiritual battlefield happening around me (and a selfishness in my own heart still) with an enemy wanting to tear me down, especially in this time of engagement and preparation for marriage. I'm thankful that the Lord rooted this out of me; I would never want to bring this evil into my marriage. But I also understand the struggle and the humility I've learned in passing through what will likely be the major battle of our generation, and the battle our sons and daughters will all have to face.
For a while, though, I lost hope in a happy ending to my story. I thought I was 'tainted' or 'damaged goods.' I didn't know Jackie was coming (if I had, I would never have left my room!). She's been saving herself for marriage, and I had to confess to her that I didn't. I messed up. But the way that Jackie loves me ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù in such a pure, disinterested, and benevolent way ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù has brought so much healing. She told me one night that she doesn't want the 'Bobby of 2007' or the 'Bobby of 2010;' she wants the 'Bobby of now.'
I'm 29 and a virgin.
No, I don't have some incurable alien disease that causes people to shutter at the sight of me. No, I don't have the sex drive of a grandma (unless it's my grandma who had 11 kids). And, no, I'm not Tim Tebow's girlfriend.
So in an attempt to redeem myself (because apparently 'Just deal with it' doesn't cut it) here are some of the ways I've learned I can change my bad day into a day in which I feel blessed.
I’ve experienced life without my fiancÌÄ®ÕÌâå©e Jackie and I want no more of it. After years of discernment and three years in seminary formation, I've been graced with clarity and peace over this decision. I want to soak up as much Jackie Francois as I can in the time I have been given in this life. Her love has already broken me free of so many stubborn memories and unnecessary fear, giving me courage to become the man God needs me to be, a man that will do his best to lead her to Heaven.
However, the truth is this: the most commonly used birth control pill is nothing more than a mask.
Just like make up only covers up a pimple, the birth control pill only covers up the symptoms of a woman's menstrual issue. Sure the pill might make a woman's cycle seem regular, but in reality, it is only fooling her body and her mind.
I want a love that's strong enough to wait for marriage and commitment. Someone who wants what's best for me and my body. I'm not looking for someone who's okay with me chemically altering my body for the sake of pleasure without consequences.
I want the consequences – but I want them in marriage where they're supposed to be. I want to feel bonded to another person, body and soul (Genesis 2:24). I want to be faithful to one person and give myself fully, freely, and allow that to bear the fruit of children.