Q: I am a junior in high school and I have never been asked to the Homecoming Dance. How can I help from feeling hopeless when I see my friends getting asked to different dances?
If we had already been living together, in the back of my mind I’d wonder if Jim was asking me to marry him because he’d gotten used to having me around. I’d wonder if I had said “yes” because I was afraid of being alone and having to open jars by myself. But when I walk down the aisle, there will be no doubt in my mind that we’re freely choosing marriage not because we had settled in as roommates who had learned to put up with each other, but as two people that have freely chosen to love each other.
I have read a few articles and Q&A’s in lifeteen.com (such as “If you love me… lead me to Christ”), which a number of them mentioned the struggles with falling into temptation and getting more physical in dating relationships. My question is this, regarding to physical intimacy, how much is too much? How far is too far?
Choosing to center your relationship on Christ is going to bring you the most peace and lasting happiness. I’m glad that you want more for yourself than to settle for falling into a pattern of sin.
Sometimes we, as Catholics, think going to Confession and promising it (our sin) won’t happen again will magically give us the power to stop sinning. While Confession is a great start, it is just that – a starting place. God gives us grace to continue moving forward, He offers us help to avoid sin, and we have to do our part to follow His path to holiness.
In some places, the pressure to date is ridiculous. Boys and girls used to be total opposites, gross even, and now they suddenly look a little more interesting… And when they start to pair off, I know that it can be tough to be left behind on that. It would be totally awesome if someone that you liked also thought that you were cute, funny, smart, and interesting — but let me ask you a question: Would you rather have the tennis courts or the front porch? Please, don’t waste your first kiss.
Q: Lately all of my friends have been having sex. I made a vow to wait until marriage, but how do I keep my vow when I’m around them and peer pressure is at its highest?
A: I’m so glad you’ve made a vow to wait until marriage to have sex. It’s a great decision to follow God’s will for your life! When we believe that God wants what’s best for us, we can trust in His commandments (Exodus 20:14).
In my life, I struggled with the same fear. I couldn’t seem to stay in a relationship because I would freak out and back away from the girl in fear that I would eventually get hurt. When I finally met my wife, it wasn’t that my fears had disappeared, but my desire to pursue a relationship with Courtney was greater than my fears of being hurt.
I have great news for you: a good guy already loves you! Your value and your dignity, on your best day or after your worst decision, can be found in looking at a crucifix. Jesus didn’t lay down His life just hoping that humanity would be nicer and more deserving of Him. He loved us, and still loves us, in the middle of our shady pasts and our messy presents.
Q: My boyfriend and I are moving away to college next semester, except he’s going to be over 3 hours away now. I was wondering do you have any advice or tips on how to keep a strong God centered relationship going, even through there will be a distance between us? Is it even healthy to have a relationship like this? I would really appreciate some help to this subject.
We who frequent the internet all know what happened this past week: James Franco connected with a 17 year old fan on Instagram and then texted her in an attempt to arrange a “meet up” at a hotel. Can we collectively say “creep-a-trillion”!?!?
I would meet up with you James Franco. BUT not because I’m interested in flirting or (heaven forbid) locking lips with you. Oh no. I would only want to meet you in order to give you a Jason Evert style lesson on real love over a nice glass of ice water.
…for years I’d given away kisses with very little meaning. Kissing was just the next step when things were going well with a guy. In a way I felt like I had to kiss the guys I really liked because they had earned it and it would prove our relationship was worth something. I realized what I thought was my desire to kiss Brian, was actually a desire to feel close and connected to him.
So was it wrong that I had once had a crush on my friend’s future husband? No, I don’t think so. Having a crush on someone is totally normal. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone else, and it’s good to be drawn to those good characteristics that we notice in them. We’re designed to interact and form relationships with other people. As we spend time with others, it’s totally normal to find ourselves “crushing” on someone because we think he’s really funny or cute or sweet or witty or holy or, worst of all, all of the above!!
Come on daddy-dearest-God, all I ever wanted was a man with the voice of Benedict Cumberbach, and the looks of the dude who lives across the street from me, and the money of Brad Pitt, and the heart of Jesus… Is that so hard to ask?
So option numero uno for today is to soothe yourself by lying around in your PINK yoga pants watching Netflix and eating pasta because carbs are your comforting frenemy.
Every single day has been perfect… we’ve never had an argument, never disagreed, and never gotten frustrated. Our home is perfect. Our kids are perfect. Our family is a walking Christmas card. No one ever fights, has gas or morning breath or bad hair days. Each morning, servants bring us freshly squeezed orange juice and non-fat, extra foam lattes, whilst animated Disney birds gather on our balcony to whistle us awake. Yes, we are never tired, have no body fat, no wrinkles and my gray hair is highlighting that I pay extra money for at the barbershop.
Guys and girls are some of the worlds biggest mysteries… well, to each other anyway. This can make dating pretty complicated. As a guy, I rarely know what the girls in my life are thinking. Classmate, co-worker, sister, friend, girlfriend, mom… it doesn’t matter.
Sometimes I think I understand Calculus better than I understand girls. And umm… I got a D in Calculus.
I remember feeling kind of like a failure when I graduated from college. All five of my siblings married someone that they went to college with, and my last dating relationship had recently ended. I had my bachelor’s degree, but my wife was nowhere to be found. Many of my good friends got married within the first year or two after graduation, and I felt like I was destined to either be single forever or eventually just settle for some less-than-exciting relationship.
Of course, you should continue to pray at all times, but especially before you go on a date or spend time with your boyfriend. Pray that you will make good decisions. Ask for the wisdom, courage, and prudence to avoid temptation and the situations where it lingers. Whether that means you’ll leave the place you find yourself in, surround yourself by others, or end the date early.
I’ve been best friends with a guy for awhile. But now I feel like there could be something more to our relationship. I am scared to tell him how I feel, scared to ruin our awesome friendship, yet I feel so ready to be in a relationship. Should I tell him how I feel?
I recently met a girl that I really like, we even met at church, but her parents don’t think she is old enough to be dating. But she’s really a great girl and I don’t want to end things. I think her parents are being way too strict. What should I do?