To be honest, I felt lost. Some days I would think that being a priest was my calling, others that having a giant family (thirteen kids to be exact) was. In my life I would see signals everywhere — a bible verse that told me to be a priest and a baby that told me to be a dad. It distressed me; I was frustrated a lot of the time, and it began to wear on me. I was asking God why he didn’t just tell me what was up.
The idea of discerning our vocation can cause a lot of anxiety. Wondering if we are called to be married, enter religious life, who we should date, if we should visit convents or try out seminary can be overshadowed by fear – fear that we'll do the wrong thing or that God will plant us somewhere that will make us miserable.
Figuring out what to do in the future is one of the things that most young people struggle to figure out. Now that you know your identity, you can remind yourself that God, indeed, has a purpose for you. You were created for a reason, and figuring that reason out will be one of the most exciting things you ever do.
I want a lot of things out of life. I want to be happy. I want to feel like I have purpose. I want to be loved. I want to make a difference. I want to live a life I'm proud of. I want to be a saint. I want chocolate and tacos but not at the same time.
But I don't know where to find those vague and lofty desires. Are they only talked about in poems and songs? Because so many people around me aren't happy with their lives, or haven't found their purpose, or are settling for counterfeit love and a bottle of booze.
About three years ago, I went through a big conversion and in the course of a few months my faith grew exponentially and so much in my life changed. I was reading everything about the Church I could get my hands on, I prayed the rosary daily and I practically lived in the adoration chapel. I was in love with my faith and everyone around me knew it.
However, as wonderful as my renewed spiritual life was, I quickly began to freak out . . . being that holy obviously meant I was being called to be a nun, right?
I realize that there was a lot of excitement about brother-coaches, deer antler spray, and a quarterback covered in Biblical tattoos, but I just couldn't get into it.
The most important part of all of this is in Jesus' first three words to Peter, 'Come after me.' With these words, Jesus is not only saying that Peter must physically follow him, but that Peter's desires are to come after His as well. If we focus on doing what Jesus is asking us to do, our lives will change radically. Obviously, not all of us will become Pope, like Peter, but I guarantee that God will do far greater things with your life than you could ever do on your own.