For most of my life, I’ve dreamed about what it would be like to be a professional athlete. I’ve thought about the feeling I would have listening to the Star Spangled Banner under the lights of Madison Square Garden. I’ve contemplated throwing the game-winning touchdown pass in the Super Bowl at University of Phoenix Stadium.

And my favorite and most recurring fantasy, I’ve pondered the feeling I would get as I hit a walk-off homerun to win the 7th game of the World Series. (And yes . . . I’ve even practiced my homerun trot.)

Alas, none of these will ever happen. My life hasn’t ended up the way I dreamt when I was a young boy, so I had to settle for “taking my talents” to the old man softball field. And, I’m ok with that. Really. It’s fine. But little did I know what awaited me at the finish line of my first marathon.

Running a marathon was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life, ranking right up there with the week I spent commercial salmon fishing in Bristol Bay, Alaska. (That’s another blog for another day.) It took a huge toll on me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But, as I crossed the finish line of this 26.2-mile race, it was as if I was transported into a whole other world.

Where Am I?

The first thing that I noticed in the few seconds after finishing was that the pain I felt throughout much of the race had subsided tremendously. In conjunction with this feeling, there were people there to greet me, congratulate me, and give me water. They wrapped me in a robe to help me get warm, and they took my picture.

Then they pointed me toward the feast that was prepared and told me to eat as much as I wanted. Seriously! No homerun trot could be better than this! There was fruit, Gatorade, Jamba Juice, frozen yogurt, bagels, and more. Everyone was so happy I was there. It was as if they had been waiting for me for a long time. This seemed like a place I had heard about before . . .

“Then the angel showed me the river of life-giving water, sparkling like crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of its street. On either side of the river grew the tree of life that produces fruit twelve times a year, once each month; the leaves of the trees serve as medicine for the nations. Nothing accursed will be found there anymore” (Revelation 22:1-3).

The finish line of my marathon was a little taste of heaven. Once I got there and was showered with so much love and joy, all the pain and struggle of my race made sense. But without these difficult times, the celebration at the finish line wouldn’t have been as special.

Your Life has a Finish Line

Every single one of us is running a race called life. In this “race,” there will be good times and bad. There will be times of happiness and times of suffering. And while all of us would love to find perfect joy in this life, we never will.

Life is hard. We will feel pain, but the pain we face as we struggle along in our journey will one day make sense as we reach our “finish line” and experience perfect joy for all eternity in heaven. It is here where we will be welcomed for who we are, congratulated on the “race” we ran, and showered with an eternal feast the likes of which we could never have imagined. You see, no matter what we may face in this life, it’s worth it because of what lies ahead in the next.

• It’s in heaven where we realize that we were capable of more than we thought.
• It’s in heaven where our plan to grow in holiness is fulfilled in God’s greater plan of salvation.
• It’s in heaven where the little things we do each day to grow in relationship with Jesus Christ fully pay off.
• It’s in heaven where the pain and suffering we faced in our “race” is completely wiped away.
• It’s in heaven where we experience an eternal celebration with the community that was cheering us on.
• It’s in heaven where the investment of our whole heart makes us richer than we could have ever dreamed.
• And it is in heaven where we finish what we started when we chose to journey through that narrow gate and down that constricted road (Matthew 7:14).

Every second of my training for the marathon was worth it. All the time. All the energy. All the suffering. All the sacrifice. But it didn’t fully make sense until I crossed that finish line. So whatever “race” you are running, whatever time you are spending with our Lord, whatever energy you are putting into your battle to live a holy life, whatever suffering you are experiencing, and whatever sacrifices you are making to grow closer to Christ, remember that this life is only a training.

And while you may get a taste of heaven from time to time, all of your effort will not fully make sense until you reach the ultimate goal, salvation of your soul and eternal life in heaven (1 Peter 1:9).

Read more from Eric about the lessons he learned while running a marathon:

• You’re Capable of More Than You Think
• You’ve Got to Have a Plan
• How to Persevere in Your Faith
• Don’t Give Up Because of Pain and Failure
• Community Matters
• Where’s Your Heart?

A couple of weeks ago Beyonce was given the title of “World’s Most Beautiful Woman” from People Magazine. I feel like once you’ve got that award in your back pocket you can either:

• A) Finally allow yourself to wear sweatpants all the time (at which point you wouldn’t actually have a back pocket), or
• B) Gaze at yourself in the mirror for endless hours and let your pride shoot up like jack’s beanstalk.

No really, congrats Beyonce, you are gorgeous and have cleared up any confusion about how far I have to go to reach the plane you exist on.

. . . If I were trying to reach that level of beauty. But honestly, I can think of a lot titles I’d rather have than “World’s Most Beautiful.” (Like “Patron Saint of gluten free people.”) Beauty is just so fleeting.

I don’t know much about Beyonce (and I’m not giving my stamp of approval on everything she’s said and done) but it seems like she might agree. She said about receiving the award, “It’s really about who you are, the human being that makes you beautiful.” Then she said that the award means so much more to her since she was given the title after she became a mother.

Beyonce and Blue Ivy (The name Blue is no longer just for a cartoon dog!)

Guess what? Beyonce is un-knowingly (Or maybe knowingly? I don’t know if she reads apostolic letters in her free time . . . ) echoing Blessed John Paul II. He said in his letter “On the Dignity and Vocation of Women” that in motherhood a woman realizes and expresses her deepest “self” because of the gift of herself she’s made to another human being and the mystery she’s taken part in – the mystery of God allowing us to share in His creative act. (Mulieris Dignitatem, 18)

What also blows my mind is that every time motherhood happens, it’s like a renewal and reminder of the covenant that God made with us through the motherhood of Mary, which brought our Savior into the world. (Mulieris Dignitatem, 19) Moms get to follow in the footsteps of the Blessed Mother, who through her fiat blessed the role of motherhood forever.

World's Most Beautiful Woman for Eternity

Take that People Magazine. What you intended to be a superficial award, Beyonce and JPII took to the next level.

How amazing is that? A couple things to take from this:

1. Mary is truly the world’s most beautiful woman of ALL time because she said “Yes” to God and through her life and motherhood showed us what true femininity is.
2. Beyonce, while beautiful, had to admit that her motherhood makes her feel even more beautiful. She probably doesn’t realize it, but this is because Mary sanctified the role of mothers for all eternity and because motherhood is a share in God’s creation act and is a self-gift!
3. So in other words – it just sucks for me if I’m not a mother? No, God isn’t like that! There’s this awesome thing called “Spiritual Motherhood” which you can read about in Mulieris Dignitatem paragraph 21.
4. Do you realize what I’m saying? You don’t have to buy the best clothes, compare yourself to others, or spend hours at the gym to be happy, fulfilled, and draw others to you – in a word, to be beautiful. It’s about who you are, how you serve others, and how you cooperate with God’s plan for you.

I’m prettty sure that’s what Beyonce was saying . . . if you read between the lines.

Dear Mary,

Nat

You know what will get you absolutely nowhere? Comparing yourself to other people. It’s pointless and Jesus doesn’t like it. I know He’s not a fan because He isn’t comparing us to everyone else (Psalm 139:14).

So why on earth do I want to compare myself to other people? I take that back. I don’t want to . . . my mind is obliged to compare myself to everyone. (Okay, so maybe that’s slightly dramatic.)

Last week I ran in a race and a couple times I was reduced to the “I feel hot and nauseous; I’m so over this” jog that is very slow (if you’ve never experienced it for yourself). And you know who did NOT motivate me? The 70 year old next to me who was speed walking at the same (if not a faster) pace than me. Come on. Really?

It’s in moments like this, and other times when I feel like I’m not good enough, that I ask myself, “Why can’t I be more like that person? They must be so much better than I am.”

But . . .

• What if St. Therese only wanted to be like St. Clare?
• What if there were no soccer players because they all thought football was cooler?
• What if everyone thought plaid or neon was cool so no one wore anything else? (Wait, bad example – that may or may not be actually happening.)
• What if we had no doctors because everyone just had to be interior designers?

The point is that God made us different and it just doesn’t help to compare yourself to other people. So let’s just stop. There will always be someone better than you at something. There will always be someone who you think it more attractive than you, or who in your mind has better talents. You have to constantly remind yourself of the truth that you are enough just as you are.

I have a hard time with comparing myself to everyone . . . in just about any situation. But I am uniquely me for a reason. You’re you for a reason. And Jesus wants us that way. Jesus doesn’t compare us because He’s so in love with who we are right now. Let’s ask for the grace to see ourselves like He sees us.

“If you are who you should be you will set the world on fire.” St. Catherine of Siena

I’m praying for you.

I’ve always thought the expression “people person” was kind of funny. I mean, I understand being a dog person or a cat person. You may like them and you may not. But how can you not like people? I guess I thought everyone was a people person! I consider myself a people person because I’ve always loved being around people and my friends make me so happy. However, sometimes I take this to extremes and rely on the people around me for everything.

In highschool, my family split up and I felt very alone. I didn’t realize that there’s a big difference between loneliness and being alone. We can often feel loneliness . . . but we are never alone.

God promises that He will never leave us. “Be strong and steadfast; have no fear or dread of them, for it is the LORD, your God, who marches with you; he will never fail you or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) Don’t take those words lightly.

An Emptiness

In the midst of this hard time in life, I felt a void and I looked everywhere for fulfillment, joy, and a sense of worth. One of the places I tried to find those things was in relationships. Even if the relationships seemed healthy, I was putting the other person before Christ and didn’t know how damaging it was.

A good friend once told me that Jesus should be the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last person you want to talk to before bed. That really challenged me to ask myself: “Is He my focus? What if God is waiting anxiously for me to wake up so He can walk with me through another day, and I don’t even acknowledge Him?”

I found that how I felt about myself was directly related to what people around me say and think about me. My self-worth was constantly rising and falling. This might be the case for a lot of people, and it’s really twisted. I don’t know if you’ve been there, but I have.

You’re My Everything

In this particular relationship after my parent’s divorce, the girl I was dating became everything to me. I drew my worth from her compliments and her attention. I drew my joy from her company. I wasn’t simply finding joy in her and recognizing Christ in her, I was putting her first in my life before Christ.

She was the one I would go to with all my problems. I went to church to see her, not Jesus. And Jesus loved me through it all. When that relationship fell apart, so did I. For months, I considered myself friendless. I had pushed so many people aside to pursue one girl. Our Lord was there with me when it all came crumbling down.

I’m not saying you can’t find joy in your relationships. You should be able to recognize Jesus in the people around you, and that should bring you joy. What I’m saying is this: You need to go to Christ first.

End of story.

He alone can satisfy. I wish I knew this from reading it somewhere. The truth is, I know it from experience. I know it from putting Jesus last and trying to find my fulfillment in a relationship. I know Jesus fulfills because I tried everything else and I came up empty.

What About You?

Maybe some of this struck a chord with you. I want you to slow down. There’s no need for sudden change or worry. Just think about these questions, pray about them, and amend to make Jesus your first love and first priority in new ways. You’ve heard some of these questions before. Don’t just skim them. Accept the challenge.

• Do you feel like you’re constantly trying to earn love?
• Where do you find fulfillment?
• Is your relationship leading you to Jesus? Are you leading the other person to Jesus?
• Is love for God what drives you?
• Do you recognize Christ in the other person? Is Christ recognizable in you?
• Who is the first person you run to?

Please know that I’m praying for you, our Mother is guiding you, and God is fighting for you.

Listen to our interview with Sarah Churman

Have you ever thought about how many things we take for granted? . . . Things like sounds, for instance. Imagine what your life would be like if you couldn’t hear your phone ring, the microwave beep, or the doorbell? What if you couldn’t go to the movie theater or hear birds?

That’s what life was like for Sarah Churman until last fall. She was born deaf and last fall received an implant that allows her to hear. You’ve probably never heard of her before, but you might recognize her if you were one of the 12 million people who saw the viral YouTube video, “29 years old and hearing myself for the first time.”

She shared her story with me and I was blown away by the beautiful faith that she has in God. If I were deaf from birth, I don’t know if I would have the strength to not be mad about it, and say that I trust God has a purpose for everything. But Sarah is able to say that. She had hearing aids from the age of 2, but was only able to hear garbled, muffled sounds, as if she were under water. She learned to speak and understand others by reading lips, and watching mouth, tongue, and body movement.

Check out the video if you’ve never seen it! And listen to what she has to say about her experience and the miraculous story of God’s hand in it all.

I begged and cried and begged more . . . “God fix this. You have to. I know you’re in charge but come on, this can’t be what you want . . . right?”

That’s how my prayers typically went when I prayed for Catherine, my friend’s mom, who was diagnosed with cancer in 2009. Catherine’s health fluctuated in the following years and she never left the top of my prayer list.

Her family said it was time to pray for a miracle when Catherine stopped responding to treatment last fall. So I continued to beg God for a miracle. Every time I was miserable about something – the Arizona heat, a hard workout, the flu, or heartache – I offered up my suffering for Catherine.

“What are you doing God?” I kept asking. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. She was an amazing, holy woman with six children, most of them still in grade school. Hundreds of people were praying for a miracle; I knew I couldn’t give up hoping. Miracles happen all the time.

So why not this time? Catherine died this past January 30th. I felt like God had let me down. I felt like He wasn’t thinking about how many hearts were torn apart. “How could you, God?”

I’ve been Catholic my whole life. I know these answers, but this time my emotions were so strong that I forgot everything I knew about God’s goodness.

Struggling because of unanswered prayers is bound to happen in any person’s faith life. God will always give us grace to see His heart again though. Staring intently at the Eucharist in adoration I saw a God who loves us so much He took on our human nature and remains with us in the Eucharist. I had to admit that He does know what’s best. He loves us so much that He has our best interest, Heaven, constantly on His mind.

Praying for a miracle is not wrong or a waste of time because God hears and responds (Psalm 34: 17 – 20). He wants us to ask for what we need. We have free will so He doesn’t force Himself on us, even though He cares intimately about our daily lives.

We need to learn from Mary and echo her words “Let it be done according to your will.” That miracle wasn’t God’s will; He had something better in mind.

Catherine “fought the good fight and finished the race” (2 Timothy 4:7). She’s home and enjoying eternal happiness. And now we have another amazing woman praying for us the way we prayed for her. While it’s still sad, I have found a lot of peace in trusting God. Sometimes we get earthly miracles. However, at the end of life the true miracle is our resurrection and the eternity we spend with God and the saints in heaven. That’s the greatest miracle we can pray for.

Editor’s Note: Katie Lewis is a Junior Economics and Business Management major at Franciscan University of Steubenville. She is a convert to the Catholic faith and I recently asked her some questions about her story.

Why did you want to become Catholic?
When I first came to Franciscan University, I was not at all into my faith. I had always said that I was Christian, but never lived it out. The only Catholics I had seen were my parents. I thought they were crazy because all they wanted to talk about was Jesus. It was unheard of for a person my age to be in to their faith and willing to talk about it openly. Most of my friends didn’t even believe in God.

When I came to Franciscan though, I was surrounded by people that honestly love God and are not afraid to admit it or even talk about it. I saw happiness in all of the other students and I wanted that for myself. I wanted to experience that love they felt for God and from Him. I started going to daily Mass and talking to some of my friends about it. I decided that, for me, the only way to experience that was to join the Catholic Church. I went to RCIA classes at the university and was confirmed and welcomed into the Catholic Church that following Easter Vigil. Best decision I have ever made.

When you entered the Church at Easter Vigil did you feel different?
At first, when I was standing in front of a couple hundred people, I didn’t feel any different. I was so nervous. And after everything calmed down, I was expecting some huge revelation and an automatic improvement in my prayer life. I quickly realized that it wasn’t going to dramatically improve overnight; nothing was going to change or get better unless I worked at it. After I realized that, I was able to focus much more on my relationship with God.

If you take the time and are completely open to God, you begin to feel His presence in your life. You’re able to have the strength to say “No” to Satan and his temptations. I began to see myself being able to resist temptations that happened to be my biggest vices – and that’s a great feeling.

What’s your favorite thing about being Catholic?
My favorite thing about being Catholic is being able to take part in the sacraments, which I’ve learned to love and fully appreciate. Reconciliation, for example, has become such an important part of my life. I think everyone feels ashamed of things they’ve done. Reconciliation was my way of dealing with all of the regrets I had throughout my life. It helped to heal wounds that I had ignored for years. It’s an amazing feeling walking out of the confessional and knowing that God still loves you, no matter how many times you’ve sinned. “The Lord supports all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down” (Psalm 145:14).

Was there anything about the Catholic faith that surprised you when you learned about it?
I think the biggest surprise was the amount of focus the Church puts on our Mother Mary. In Protestant churches, there is generally not a whole lot of focus on Mary . . . except for maybe around Christmas. So when I started hearing about people having devotions to Mary – to be honest I was a little freaked out. But the more I learned about how and why Mary is so important, the more I started to appreciate that devotion. I had never prayed the rosary before I came to Franciscan, but now it has become a crucial part of my faith. I find comfort in the fact that Mary is constantly interceding for me and protecting me from evil.

Did any of your family or friends think you were crazy for becoming Catholic? How did you respond?
My family was supportive, but my friends were not in the least bit. Most of them doubted that I could ever change or stick with it. They were just waiting for me to fall again. In a way, that doubt from other people pushes you harder. I looked at their doubt in me as an extra source of motivation.

Do you have a favorite saint?
Saint Agnes of Rome is probably one of my favorite saints. She is the patron saint of virgins and young girls. She is my Confirmation saint also. I was trying to find a Confirmation saint and was just reading through different saints, and St Agnes just seemed to stick out. Her story is so amazing and I admired her for her strength and love for Christ. She was the woman that I wish I could be.

Throughout my life, I’ve always enjoyed doing things on my own. I couldn’t stand group projects. I never enjoyed relay races, and I would rather play Madden ’04 on my Playstation against the computer than against another person. So, when I set out to run a marathon, I thought this was going to be another thing I was doing on my own. Once again . . . I was wrong (a recurring theme in my life).

Cheerleaders

One highlight of running a marathon is that not only are you surrounded by thousands of runners fighting to reach the finish line, but people who are watching from the sidelines are also cheering for you. Had it not been for these “cheerleaders,” I don’t know if I would have finished. Their presence, motivational signs, and encouraging words helped keep me going when things got tough. (By the way, best sign I saw: “Tim Tebow may have won a playoff game, but he’s not running a marathon.”)

Prayer Partners

About a month before the race, I felt called to raise money for Life Teen’s Annual Appeal. If someone donated a certain amount, then I would offer up a mile of the race for their prayer intentions.

Knowing that these people were praying for me was extremely powerful, but the privilege of praying for them and their intentions was equally beautiful. As I got closer to the finish, feeling more pain with every stride, I felt propelled to keep going to ensure that they would be prayed for. So, it was both ironic and holy. Here I was, lifting up the prayer intentions of others, and it was their intentions that helped get me to the finish.

Family

The highlight of my race was that my brother Al was also running his first marathon. Around mile 20, as I battled fatigue and a swollen knee, he caught up to me. He was tired and struggling too and we both didn’t think we could make it. At that point, exhausted and hurting, we reached down for something extra and said to each other, “Look, I don’t care what it takes, or how long it takes, but we will get to the finish line.”

Al and Eric at the finish line

And, so we kept pushing forward, motivating each other the whole way. Until, finally, at 5 hours, 6 minutes, and 44 seconds, we crossed the finish line at the same exact time. I get emotional just thinking about it. In our time of need we picked one another up as brothers and kept moving toward our goal.

Community

Although there may be times when we face loneliness, whether by choice or by circumstance, as Catholics we’re not asked to walk every aspect of our faith journey alone. This can be difficult for those of us who don’t have support at home or for someone like me who likes to do a lot of things by himself. I’ve discovered though, that as I strive for heaven everyday I need as much help as I can get.

It’s your community that cheers you on in this life, encouraging you with their words and actions in the good times and the bad (Proverbs 12:25). It’s your community that prays for you and asks you to pray for them that you may stay humble and focused (Philippians 2:4). And it’s your community that runs beside you to keep you on the path to heaven (Acts 2:42). We all need community; that’s why we don’t celebrate Mass, our greatest prayer, alone but with the whole Church.

So whether your “race” is going well, or each moment is a struggle, I challenge you to become an active member of your community. Start with your local parish, and get to mass each week. You never know if you are the one who is going to need the encouragement, or if you’ll be doing the encouraging. Without being involved in community, you may never see the role God wants you to play. He is calling you and has a plan for you, but remember, this journey is not meant to be run alone.

I learned something a little scary about myself this weekend while cleaning my bookshelves. As I rummaged through the piles, I was embarrassed to see the number of half-read and un-used “self-help” books. I had books on personality types, Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace, dating insights, The Five Love Languages, books on time management, self-improvement, and deeper inner healing. I even had a book by Dr. Phil . . . Really Mary?

I know that at least I’m not alone in this. Type “self-help” in the search engine of Amazon and you get over 172,000 book titles. We live in a culture looking for the quick fix to every problem. We scour glamour magazines, best-selling authors, and psychological experts looking for the one product, insight, or procedure that will finally “fix” us and make us “okay.”

What Are You Seeking?

Don’t get me wrong, I do feel that bettering ourselves is a worthy cause. But if I’m honest with myself, behind my desire to buy all those books is a deeper longing for wholeness. I want some hope to find the answers to my fears. I’m looking for a strategy to handle my chaotic life or a medicine to ease the ache of any of the pains that surround me.

The problem with the self-help phenomenon is it can gives us the illusion that we can actually fix ourselves without the help of God. Instead of dealing with our hurt, sin, and deep issues, we learn strategies for coping and hiding. We’re just putting band-aids over our gaping, oozing wounds.

In high school, I hid my wounded-ness and deep insecurity behind my list of achievements. With three varsity sports, student council, shiny awards and leadership roles galore, I looked like I had my act together. But inside, I never thought I was enough. I was never pretty enough, smart enough, or funny enough. I believed lies about myself that bound me. I thought the shame and pain I carried inside from past hurts could never mend. So I just coped. I kept pushing through and pretending I was okay when I wasn’t.

Gentle Healer

But God didn’t come into our humanity just to give us a band aid for our wounds or coping mechanisms to push through. He came to give us life and life to the fullness. (John: 10:10) He came to restore us and to make us whole. He came to bring healing.

A huge part of Christ’s ministry on earth was to heal. Throughout scripture we see the countless stories of him giving sight to the blind, making the lame walk, raising the dead, and healing the lepers. The way He heals isn’t exactly the same today . . . It’s not like you wander through a colony of lepers on the way to Geometry class. (That would be scary.)

Today, it’s our souls that are wounded.

You can think if your leg isn’t broken or your arm isn’t severed off then God has nothing to heal. But to live in this fallen world is to know pain and the effects of sin in our hearts. We all carry pain from shame, rejection, or feelings of unworthiness. But just as Christ ministered healing to the lame and the lepers when He walked on the earth 2000 years ago, He wants to heal the wounds and blindness of our hearts today.

“He carried in his own body on the cross the sins we committed. He did this so that we might live in righteousness, having nothing to do with sin. By his wounds you were healed.” 1 Peter 2:24 (CEB)

So Fix Me Already

Okay, you might be thinking, “Mary, I have prayed a million times for this same thing, and God hasn’t fixed it. It still hurts. It hasn’t gotten better. God isn’t healing me!”

But what I have learned in my own healing is that God doesn’t want to just “fix” us. Our God is not a Santa Clause or a magician. He is a gentle healer and a loving surgeon. He wants intimacy with us – a relationship. It is in and through that relationship that His love has the power to heal our wounds. It’s a lifetime of walking with Him as our closest friend. He wants to hold us and walk through the pain with us, using the healing of the sacraments and bringing the resources and the people to guide us along the way.

Whatever your wound is – rejection from a failed relationship, separation of your parents, loss of a loved one, insecurities, abuse, shame from sin, feelings of abandonment, addiction, or a long list of small ways you hide your failures and inadequacies – God endured that very wound and carried it on the cross to so that you could be restored to new life. In our journey to wholeness we don’t need a “self-Help” book or a another formula. We have a savior. The wounded healer calls to you today . . . And by his wounds, you can take confidence that “you are healed.”

“But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)