Dom Quaglia

Call Me Maybe: A Song with Dating Advice?

Hey, I haven't met you. And this is crazy. But here's my new blog. So read it, maybe?

If you've been around a radio, a mall, or anyone under the age of 30 recently, you've almost certainly heard the song 'Call Me Maybe.' It's extremely catchy and has made countless men panic when realizing they're singing it in public. A lot of us, when hearing the lyrics, just dismiss it as some ridiculous pop song with no redeeming value. However, as is true with most of these songs, if you listen closely you might hear something interesting that ties into your life.

Pursue Me!

'Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But here's my number, so call me, maybe?'

This line might cause you to roll your eyes, but the neat thing is it's actually clueing us in about an important part of girls, guys, relationships, and how it all works.

In the song, the artist is clearly expressing interest in the guy but she isn't asking for his number. In one line she even says 'I can hardly look right at you baby, but here's my number, so call me, maybe.' She is shy and she's giving away her number, saying 'call me.'

The guy is supposed to pursue.

I think getting back to a time when the guy would make an honest pursuit of the girl without all the ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâèÏgames' is a great thing. A lot of guys are scared or nervous to pursue a girl for many reasons. The main one is fear of rejection. What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she thinks we're too good of friends? What if she laughs at me? Those thoughts will enter a guys head as he tries to get his nerves up and make the first move.

Don’t Cop Out

In this age of texting and social media, you hardly even have to ask anyone out. Both guys and girls are growing up without having to endure the awkward situation or confrontation. Instead of asking someone out to dinner, you can just 'like' her picture and hope she gets the hint that you “like” her too.

Maybe there's a code. If someone likes four out of every five pictures you post, they are totally in to you. If they like two out of every five, they're interested but not convinced and you'll need to step it up. And then instead of calling them, you can 'poke' them on Facebook and hope they’ll call you. In the long run, this will make more cowards than men.

And Then Keep Pursuing

My girlfriend feels very strongly about the guy pursuing. We pray every night before bed and most nights she won't call me, no matter how late it gets. She'll wait for me to call her.

And when we started dating is a big debate. I swear I asked her out in July. But apparently the way I worded it wasn't entirely clear. So again, in August I said, 'Will you go out with me?' just to avoid any confusion. Even though she said yes, she insists we didn't start dating until September when I officially had 'the talk' with her dad. That's a lot of anniversary gifts.

I'm grateful for her and her standards because she is constantly calling me to be a man. Not some phony, worldly view of manhood but the true form. She calls me to love God first. She calls me to lay down my life, even if just in small ways for now, to ensure her sanctity.

The “Call Me” Challenge

  • Girls – Raise your standards. Like the lyrics from the song, hold the guy to the tradition of making that move. If he can't pursue you, he may need some more work before he's ready to court you.

    Also, set the tone. If you flaunt yourself like a piece of meat, you can't expect him to treat you any differently than that. Treat yourself with respect and you'll demand it from him.

  • Guys – Don't be afraid to pursue. Rejection is part of life. You have to fight for what you want. This will let her know that you're willing to fight through the struggles and rise above them because she's worth it. If you've discerned it and you think it's Gods will, go ahead. Call her.
Dom Quaglia

About the Author

I try to say ‘yes’ to God each morning and He gives me crazy opportunities. I made it to the spelling bee three times and lost, but never got diskeraged. I love the beach, Italian food, and guitar solos. Unfortunately I can’t surf, cook, or play guitar. I take life one step at a time and try to enjoy it!