Q: I’m Catholic and I go to Mass and Confession but I’m struggling with the friendships I’ve made at church. I feel bad for saying this, but all the churchy kids I know are incredible boring. I can’t stand all the “good” kids! We have absolutely zero things in common. I mean seriously, how do I find good teens that do something more interesting than play basketball?
A: Thanks for being so honest. First of all I want to affirm you for striving toward holiness. It’s not a small thing that you are going regularly to daily Mass, and the habit of going to Confession is a sign that you’re really seeking to follow Jesus more closely.
You’re right that community is an essential part of our Catholic faith. I’ve seen in my life how my friends have the power to encourage me or to draw me further away from God. So what do we do when the faithful kids we know are boring and the fun ones are doing bad stuff?
You made an interesting point when you said that you have nothing in common with the “good” kids. I would argue that you (hopefully) have less in common with the “bad” kids. Sometimes it comes down to a question of priorities: am I more concerned with my social life or the state of my soul?
When I was in high school, I was part of a small group of guys that met weekly. Some of them were good friends, but most of them I didn’t really hang out with. We liked different music, we got on each others’ nerves, and we didn’t really have much in common. Except one thing. We were all trying to follow Jesus.
Some of those guys are still good friends of mine today. Because of our shared faith, I know that I can ask them for prayers and they know they can do the same.
This doesn’t mean that you should just settle for boring friends. When Jesus promised to give us “life to the full” (John 10:10), He must’ve meant something more exciting than a youth group bowling trip. Have you prayed for good friendships? Ask God to provide friends that are pursuing holiness that you also enjoy hanging out with.
Once again, I appreciate your honesty. I think many people feel the way you do, but no one says it out loud because they’re afraid of sounding shallow. It’s a normal experience, but I promise that God will bless us when we are willing to put Him first as the priority in our lives and our friendships.
Be sure of our prayers for you. We’ll pray that God sends good friends your way and that He brings joy into the friendships you have with other Catholic teens.
Do you have a question about dating and relationships you’d like to ask Brian and Courtney Kissinger? Email them at [email protected] and your question could be the next blog post!