Countless times over the years, I’ve thought to myself, “If only I could go back and do things differently.” And that’s why nearly two decades later, I’m writing this letter to my twenty-something self: not because I can undo past mistakes, but because right now there is a young twenty-something man facing his own unplanned pregnancy (or could in the near future) longing for someone to give him solid, strong, Godly advice. If that’s you, it’s my hope that this letter will help you.
These men inspire me to be a better woman. So thank you. Thank you for being a great man when you hold your temper… when you tell me I’m beautiful… when you’re okay with not being the center of my universe because you know Jesus deserves and holds that place… when you’re not afraid to call me out, to let me know the areas I need to grow in no matter how awkward it may be. You’re a great man when you refuse to let me be stubborn about my independence when it’s obvious I need a more skilled, helping hand.
What is beauty? And why don’t I ever feel like I have it? Why am I never good enough? How do I stop the relentless, attacking voice in my head telling me I’ll never be pretty? This is the sound of the conversation I’ve had way too many times recently. […]
Once I told them I was going home for a break, the next question that usually followed was “what is your major?” I always get varying responses when I tell someone I studied Theology, but on these plane rides in college, there was one response that was pretty common.
“What do you want to do with your degree in Theology? Do you want to be a priest? Why can’t you be a priest?”
An ideal feminism incorporates the virtue of humility. It’s saying we all have something valuable to offer whether male or female but neither of us have everything, therefore we respect our differences and build each up. We need each other (Genesis 1:26-28). Gender equality is a universal partnership of brothers and sisters.
If we want to understand masculinity, we have to understand God’s original purpose for it. When God created the first man, Adam, He gave him three very important tasks: Adam needed to cultivate life in the garden, he was charged by God to help create new life, and he was the garden’s protector.
It’s safe to say that most guys feel the same way. You women are so breathtakingly beautiful that it can be very difficult to pay attention to anything else when you’re in the general vicinity. I once slammed my car into the garage door because I was mindlessly gazing at my beautiful neighbor on her mountain bike.
I’m not going to say all guys are like this… but it is how a lot of people place value on their lives. What you do and how much stuff you have is generally what a person is judged by – especially a man. Do more stuff! Buy more things! Wear good clothes! Work harder than Jobs at your jobs! Be more successful than Wayne Wright! Don’t know who that is? Me neither. But some dude has that name and he obviously wasn’t good enough to accomplish things.
Dear Saint Joseph,
This isn't just about dating; I think that a lot of us guys have become so afraid of awkwardness that we never take risks. We're not sure how we might appear if we take a stand for our faith, so we keep silent when the Church is mocked. We know that we're not perfect ourselves, so we feel too hypocritical to challenge someone else for something that they're doing or saying that is wrong.