5 Counterfeits of Love (and why people accept them) Part III: Obsession

What it is. If infatuation is all about the heart, then obsession is all about the head. Obsession is the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent fantasy.

Where you see it. Teen girls have always enjoyed obsessing over celebrities and entertainers. Right now it’s Justin Bieber, soon it will be someone else. Regardless of who is at the center of the obsession, it’s always the same thing: buying all of his stuff, going to all the concerts, talking about him with friends. And of course, believing in your head that the two of you will end up together.

Guys can also obsess over girls in movies, TV,  and in music, but they don’t act out on it in the same way girls do. In some cases, obsession for males is less about a fantasy of a destined relationship and more about lust.

Why people accept obsession. When it’s innocent, obsession is a secure way for a young person–especially a young girl–to commit herself to one guy without going through the drama of a real life dating relationships.

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Why obsession is the counterfeit of love. Obsession is what I call directional love. That means you point your love at someone, and you send it at them whether they like it or not. You spend more and more time detached from your own world and get lost in your fantasy about this person. Obsession is never grounded in reality. If you don’t keep it in check, everyone will just think you’re weird.

The real problem with obsession, however, is that you are allowing a human to become your god. All of things that are due to God–love, worship, praise, hope–are shifted away from Him and onto someone else.  And that someone else will always let you down because they were never meant to be God. That is why God warned us against obsession with the First Commandment:

I am the Lord your God and you shall have not have any other gods before me.

When you obsess, you are setting yourself up to fail. Stay focused on what’s real.

<< Yesterday: Part II Infatuation | Tomorrow: Part IV Co-dependence >>