5 Counterfeits of Love (and why people accept them) Part II: Infatuation

The Bachelor. So many engagements. Why so few marriages?

What it is. Infatuation is temporary, all-absorbing crush or passion.

Where you see it. Most chick flicks are about infatuation because it’s packed with emotion and romance without any of the “ordinary” parts of life to slow down the plot. Many websites and magazines for teen girls routinely talk about “love” when they’re really talking about “infatuation.”

Music is loaded with infatuation. Consider Katy Perry’s song “Teenage Dream”

Katy Perry songs are always trapped by "the now"

My heart stops when you look at me. Just one touch now baby I believe. This is real so take a chance and don’t ever look back. Don’t ever look back.

That sounds sweet and all, but what does that really mean? Can people talk like that forever without feeling silly?

Why people accept infatuation. Infatuation feels good. You get an emotional high with an intense crush. It adds magic to an otherwise ordinary day. Also, being infatuated is kind of a “coming of age” that for many people marks the beginning of being a teenager.

Why infatuation is the counterfeit of love. Infatuation is a fleeting feeling. It’s a flame that gives no warmth. I knew a girl in high school who never kept a boyfriend because she always had to find someone new to fall in love with. She was addicted to the idea of being in love, not the messy reality of loving someone.

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This doesn’t just happen in high school either. Many people get engaged because they’re infatuated with one another, but their connection has never been challenged by time. Their marriage becomes difficult because “ordinary life” seems to slowly destroy the good feelings of infatuation. There is a reason why marriages never last from shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is because they’re confusing infatuation for love.

Don’t ge me wrong. Crushy feelings aren’t bad. I had them for my wife when we first started dating. I get new kinds of crushy feelings for her with each new day. But infatuation is only an emotion and should never be confused as love. Love is something that is much bigger and more beautiful.

<< Yesterday: Part I Lust | Tomorrow: Part III Obsession >>